The bar was full, and music was blaring, I was watching people. “Hi, how is it going? Haven’t seen you for a long time! Where have you been?” A good looking woman spoke to me with a very friendly voice and gave me a hug. I was flabbergasted, and a little embarrassed, I couldn’t remember seeing her before. We chatted a bit about skiing, and the weather then she moved on. Soon there was another “Hi, how is it going? Haven’t seen you for a long time...” and I was hugged by another good looking woman. Then a guy shook my hand and again “Hi, how is it going...” Nick later explained to me what was going on. “They are all phonies. They are from the Toronto area and come here to ski. This is their Friday night out. They hardly know anybody here but pretend they do. Some come to have good times, some to get drunk, and a few are looking for a one night stand. Just pretend that you know them. ” I was a little disappointed, after meeting so many “friendly “ women but eventually got the hang of it, and kept hugging and chatting with complete strangers.
The summer came and I enrolled the kids in a “YMCA” day camp. They liked it there and made many friends. Mark got the nickname “Einstein” for his “scientific” statements. They became friends with Nancy, a slightly younger girl. Her mother asked them to stay for supper a couple of time and one day they came to me to negotiate. “Nancy would like to go sailing, can we take her out?” I phoned her mother and asked whether she would mind, and she let Nancy go. We had a nice breezy sailing trip, I didn’t pay much attention to the time, and it was quite late when we turned back. We were long overdue when we returned to the harbour. Nancy was directing me to her house where there was a car parked outside and a couple was loading boxes. “This is my mother and my stepfather.” BANG! She slammed the car door and was gone. Great, I didn’t need any excuse for why we were late! The kids were invited for supper again so I was still in good standing with her mother.
One Saturday Nick phoned to see if I want to go to the single parent’s dance again. Sure, I had nothing to do in the evening. The kids biked to the “Y” for an afternoon swim and when it was time for them to come home, I noticed the sky was getting dark. It was going to pour; maybe I should pick them up. There was a knock on the door, it was Nancy`s mother. “I picked Nancy up from the “Y” and your kids were still there. I brought them home because it’s going to rain”. The kids bolted into the house with Nancy so I offered her mother a cup of coffee.
Her name was Sue and we sat down and talked, mainly about the kids. To my surprise, Sue was a single mother, separated from her husband. The rain poured, we talked and I skipped the dance. Sue lived in an apartment only a couple of blocks away and invited us over for a supper. First impressions are important and I had a good look at her place. It was clean and tidy. We had kidney pie and she was a good, fast cook. After supper the kitchen counter was cluttered with dishes but I was impressed with how fast dishes were washed and put away.
We started to see each other more often but I wouldn’t call it dating. We were just checking each other out to see if we were compatible and what we had in common. We had both been badly burned in our previous relationships and were not going to jump into another one. Sue was very independent and resourceful. She had a hammer, screwdrivers, and various tools handy to fix something if it broke. I nicknamed her Mrs. Fix It. One day she asked me to take her out sailing. No problem, I would like to do that. Watching her walking on the wobbly dock finger to the boat, I noticed that she had shaky legs. But she seemed to enjoy sailing except when the boat started to heel; then she grabbed the winch and held it tight. After we got back, she told me that she liked sailing very much and assured me that she would get used to the boat heeling over. I was greatly relieved.
There wasn’t any intimacy between us, the kids were around us all the time, watching. They were too old for a babysitter, but we didn’t want to leave them alone for a long time without knowing how they would act with each other. Our first kiss was just a stolen peck on the cheek. Eventually our intimacy progressed and we decided to spend a night together. But now the kids were in the way! We couldn’t find a weekend when Mark and Michael would be staying with their mother and Nancy could go to her grandmother. When the time eventually arrived, we decided to have a “party” in the house. We got a bottle of wine, chicken wings and I made a fire in the fireplace. It was a night to remember…
Our relationship progressed and soon Sue and Nancy moved into my house. Later I met Sue’s mother and some of her brothers and sisters. She came from a big family, eight brothers and four sisters and they seemed to be closely knit family. When Sue was sure that she could trust me, she started to tell me the dark secrets of her family which shocked me.
Their father was an abuser who mistreated his family. They always lived in some old farm house that needed fixing, without electricity, running water or a telephone. The whole family worked on the house and when it was fixed, they would move to another old farm house and started all over again. They were cut off from the outside world, without friends, ruled by their father. He worked from time to time but mostly stayed at home to keep an eye on the family. At meal times he was served first and when they had meat, he had the first pick. Many times the kids went to bed hungry. Looking after thirteen children the mother struggled to feed and clothe them.
Worse and even more secret was that he was a paedophile and had sexually abused two of his daughters for many years. When the girls were old enough to leave their home, they went to the police and laid charges against him. Rather than facing a long jail sentence he took an easy way out. He borrowed a gun from neighbor and shot himself.
 Just getting to know each other |
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